The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
Randomize
