Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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