i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
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