I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
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