Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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