Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
