Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
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