I think I died a long time ago.
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
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