You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
Randomize