my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
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