I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
