I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
