I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
My vagina just clenched in fear
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Randomize
