It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
Farmville is her only friend.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
Randomize