So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
Randomize
