he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
Text me some of your sweat
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