Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
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