he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
The greatest thing of my life happened today. I took a shit and it formed a smiley face. It's going to be a fucking fantastic day.
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize
