Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
The dick lei will go down in squad history
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
I'm gonna invite every single tinder date I've had to my birthday. Let them fight, battle Royale style. The winner gets to fuck me. \n\nBest. Birthday. Ever
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
Randomize
