my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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