I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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