i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
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