I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
Say something about gay babies.
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Randomize