you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
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