I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
Randomize
