I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
grandma shit on top of the toilet
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Randomize
