ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
I just threw up on my dentist
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
Let's get the cat blown out
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
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