I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
Randomize
