He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
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