just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Randomize
