butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
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