come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
the gays at disneyland are vicious
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
Randomize
