Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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