I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
Randomize