Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
Randomize
