Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
