my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
Randomize
