new low.... made out with someone while peeing
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
