my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
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