You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
well most of my day revolves around power hour
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
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