Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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