I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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