so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
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