We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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