My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
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