oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
I'm at about main and main street
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
