when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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