haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
Randomize