NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Randomize
