the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
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