he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
Remember that St. Patrick's Day when I fucked your married coworker in his truck and the whole bar was chanting for you "Don't fuck Mike"?! #TheLuckOfTheIrish 🍀
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
Randomize