you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
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