I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
found the other keg... it's in the tree
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
My legs feel like baby dolphins
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
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