please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
Randomize
