hotel room ftw
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
Randomize
