Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
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