I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
so much tequila, so little girl.
At least life still wants to fuck me.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
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