omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
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