i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Randomize