just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
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