I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
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