im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
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